DON'T COPY IF YOU CAN'T PASTE

One day, Amin went to a lecture at his former university. The lecturer said "I've been spending most of my happy moments with a woman that is not my wife". All the people that was presence there was shock to hear that. Then, the lecturer continued "She was my mother", Amin was very impressed with how the lecturer said it. When he was home he said to his wife "I've been spending most of my happy moments with a woman that is not my wife". Amin close his eye to remember how the lecturer said the sentence. When he opened his eyes, he found out that he was laying down in the hospital.
So, the morale of the story is don't copy if you can't paste. 

MALAYS THAT HAVE BAD ENGLISH

In a tourist spot there was a Malay man. He thinks that his english language is good enough that he knows the number in english and know how to say sorry. He was walking and then he accidentally steps on a foreign tourist's foot that was not looking where he was going. This is how their conversation after that:-
Man: I'm sorry.
Tourist: I'm sorry too.
Man: I'm sorry three.
Tourist: What for?
Man: I'm sorry five.
Tourist: Are you sick.
Man: I'm sorry seven.
Without knowing where the conversation is going, the tourist leave him. The Malay man was left with a question mark on his head. 

FART JOKE!?

In a jewelry shop, there is a woman that accidentally fart when she was looking at a ring. She was ashamed and embarrassed. Then, she look around and noticed a promoter near her ...

Promoter asked "Can I help?"

The woman thinks that the promoter did not hear her fart. So, the women replied "How much is this ring?".

Promoter replied, "Miss if you fart when you see the ring, I am sure you will poop when you know the price".